Concept“Free sexuality” for us means liberating our sexual desires and longings in love, so they can flow as naturally and freely as water does in nature. As we create Water Retention Landscapes to allow for healthy water cycles, we create safe containers within the community to truthfully express our desires in line with our ethical guidelines. “Free sexuality” is a sexual culture based on truth, solidarity and mutual perception, free of fear, lying and deceit. It isn’t a choice of lifestyle that determines whether we live monogamously, polyamorously or in celibacy, but an ethical principle. As long as we live in hypocrisy and deceit in our sexuality, latent mistrust and anger threatens the unity of our communities. Sexuality is “free” whenever we follow our truth. By truth, we don’t refer to any external behavioral or moral rules, but rather a state of authenticity and open communication, about which Wilhelm Reich said, “Truth is full, immediate contact between the Living that perceives and Life that is perceived.”
Partnership isn’t excluded in practicing free sexuality, quite the opposite. Lasting partnerships, based on mutual support and solidarity, are sustainable when we’re no longer forced to conceal who we’re attracted to and can acknowledge each other’s sexual nature. Many couples declare eternal faithfulness because of the high voltage of sexual energy they initially experience with each other. In reality though, a lasting partnership can’t be based on sexuality alone and so can’t be protected through sexual exclusivity either. Lasting partnership arises when people share a common path and task in life, when they’ve “seen” each other and are determined to support one another unconditionally.
Partnership is a great gift but it isn’t a prerequisite for living a happy and fulfilled life, as our dominant culture and the likes of Hollywood suggest. In a culture of free sexuality, there isn’t just one ideal image of love, there are many possibilities of fulfillment. We mustn’t repeat stereotypes, but recognize our true longing and follow it.
Truthfully expressing our sexual desire allows us to find freedom and mutual responsibility, and most importantly, trust. The container for free sexuality develops organically from an intact community life. Free sexuality is an offer and must never be imposed on anyone. It emerges on its own if we’re courageous enough to allow it.